watch me travel

6. Eat, Eat, Eat….and then eat some more.
Yummy! Beijing has so many culinary delights that it’s a good idea to pack an expanding pair of pants if you are going to take part. The streets are brimming with a myriad of aromatic flavors that snacking every few hours while walking around becomes an unavoidable pleasure. Try the hot pot where you throw a bunch of raw meat and vegetables into a spicy bubbling cauldron of liquid and then fish out all the surprises with a pair of chopsticks. Or get some squid or scorpion grilled on a wooden stick and then wash it down with a sweet sesame cake. And if you are lucky enough to get an ancient Chinese translation error, you can even have the opportunity to order things like “hot and spicy dick heart” from the menu.

7. Get an ancient Chinese haircut.
When I walked into the bustling salon I happened to pass on the street, deciding just the day before that I needed a haircut, I must have overlooked the people cutting hair in the front room. It was so busy and energetic that even though no one spoke English, it was as if they were saying, “don’t worry, we are hip, we know what will make you look good.” I was quoted five dollars and fifty cents and was immediately shuffled into the back where a large crew of attendants were assembled, ready to get to work.
They proceeded to give me an amazing scalp massage and then continued with a neck and arm massage and ended with an upper and lower back massage. They even cleaned my ears with a cotton swab! I started to think that they might just massage my hair into the charade-requested trim I wanted, but after my luxurious included-in-the-price hour, I was finally led to the front room where I, for the first time since arriving, took note of the stylists …well, that title could be debatable. All I could see were straight, middle-aged men sporting bowl cuts and wearing jeans that were hiked up to their necks. I couldn’t stop thinking I was going to look like Dorothy Hamill at the 1976 Olympic games and, in a panic, I couldn’t figure out the correct charade for “Isn’t anyone in here gay?” But in the end, even though I got my haircut by a pancake vendor, I think it could have been a lot worse.